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Actuarial Jokes |
ACTUARIES AND MATRIMONY
Three international consultants at a conference were discussing whether it was better to have a spouse or a lover.
The lawyer preferred a lover because it avoided the messy legalities when it came to a parting of the ways.
The accountant favoured a spouse, because of the opportunities to split income etc., and reduce tax.
The actuary said "why not have one of each and fool them both? Then you can tell each one you're with the other, and go and have a quiet day at the office".
THE GAMBLING ACTUARY
The life office chief actuary who took a Lotto ticket every week was asked what he would do if he won: "Just continue writing new business until it was all gone."
ACTUARIES AT CONFERENCES
Three hours after the actuary had been shown to his room, the receptionist
had a telephone call from him saying he couldn't get out of his room.
She was puzzled.
"Is your door stuck?", she asked
"No", he said, " but it has a sign on it - DO NOT DISTURB".
ACTUARIES VS MATHEMATICIANS
A mathematician and an actuary were in one corner of a rectangular room. In the opposite corner was a lovely young individual, scantily clad, with a sign saying AVAILABLE.
They were told the rules of the game: the first person to reach the individual was the winner, they could only proceed one step at a time, but each step must be half the length of the previous step. After some time, the actuary took a long step towards the individual. "You'll never get there you fool", exclaimed the mathematician. "I know", said the actuary, " but I'll be near enough for all practical purposes.
ACTUARIAL ACCURACY
The accountant, engineer and actuary were asked what they made the sum of 2 plus 2:
The accountant said "Four"
The engineer pulled out his calculator "I agree, to 8 decimal places".
The actuary said "What would you like it to equal?"
Postscript: A trader overhearing the question asked "Are you buying
or selling?"
There are many more actuarial jokes. We
will update this page on a regular basis with new jokes.